Not So Black and White

So recently I was just spending time in prayer and I realized that I had been approaching God in such a way for so long, that was not the appropriate way to be viewing Him. What I mean is the way in which I tried to learn about Him or get to know Him, was a very silly approach. I prayed about it some more, and I realized that many people take the same approach that I did, or rather continue to do, but am trying to overcome. In short, what I mean is that we approach Him and trying to understand Him the same way we would approach trying to learn how the world around us works. What I mean by this, is when things don't make sense, or don't go or work how we assume or feel they should, we doubt their truth. Think about it, natural disaster happens, what is your first thought? Mine usually go along the lines of: "God, how could this happen? If you are good, why do you allow these kinds of things to happen?" Maybe you have a similar experience or similar experiences.

For me though and how I have seen this more recently is how we view learning about God or understanding how he works. I know as a theology nerd, aka someone who loves studying theology, I love to delve into scripture or other Christian readings and spend time in prayer and all sorts of different ways in order to discover more about God's personality and His relationship with us. The problem comes though when something happens like a situation similar to what I described before, such as a natural disaster, death from illness or other accident, or something along these lines. Scripture tells us repeatedly God is good and that Christ came to redeem and defeat sin and death...so what's up? Is what is actually happening contradicting the promises of God given to us in the Bible? Some may say "yes", but I say definitely "NO."

We are viewing things in black and white. Well if it's not this, then it must be that. Well I say that is a very close minded and simplistic mindset. I am just as guilty as every single person on this planet of thinking that way too, but I challenge us all to take a step back, take a deep breath, and take another look and rethink what is going on here. Here is an example for you: there is a colored sheet of paper on a table and two siblings are arguing over what color it is. It appears to be a shade of gray. One sibling argues "that is most certainly black!" While the other retorts "Of course not you goofball, that is obviously white, black is way darker than this!" This goes on for hours until finally the father sees the problem, comes over and explains to the children that the color is actually orange, but their colorblindness has prevented them from understanding that there is a broader range of colors than just black and white, which of course is beyond their understanding since all they can see is black and white.

Of course I realize that colorblindness doesn't always work like that, but you get the point I am making here. As far as the spiritual world and how things work in the universe that God has created, we are colorblind, we see in black and white. Meanwhile God is working in colors that we could never even fathom. God is painting a picture that if we could see and understand the whole picture in every detail, it would make us faint probably. God gives us the basic outline: He created something good, we broke it in sin, He is fixing it through Christ. Outside of that, we don't always understand how or why he is using different brush strokes or colors. You know what, sometimes he doesn't even use a paintbrush like we expect, sometimes he uses markers or crayons or tools we don't even know about. The point here is, just because we don't understand it, doesn't mean God isn't still fulfilling His promises. Is it not a little arrogant of us to assume we should always understand EVERYTHING the creator of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE is doing? Think of how small we are in this universe, think of how minuscule and insignificant we are in comparison. Then think how God created and controls every tiny atom of the entire thing....and we are upset that we don't understand how HE works and when things don't go how WE expect, we doubt Him....it is a bit silly I think you will agree.

Obviously, changing this mindset is way easier said than done, but it isn't something we need to change after you click off of this webpage to go back to Facebook or wherever else you will go from here. It is something to pray about. It is a process you will need help with from friends or mentors. Ask God to help you have peace with the things we inevitably will not understand and trust in Him that those things are still working for our good just as He promises in Romans 8:28.

I encourage you to pray a prayer similar to this:

"God, help me to understand the things about you that are difficult to comprehend. Help me to see you more in this world that is full of sin and doubt. However, for the things that are beyond my understanding, I pray for peace and trust. I ask you to give me the strength to trust that you are who you say you are and that you are working out all things for our good and for the good of the Kingdom. Bring peace to my heart and help me to get rid of anxiety when things don't go according to how I feel they should because I know that you are always in control and nothing is beyond you. I love you and I thank you for loving me."

So now, I pray that you guys will go out tomorrow and the next day and the next, find peace and trust in God, and just maybe, you will discover a new color God is using to paint His story and decorate His Kingdom.

Trust

Well, it has been a really long time since I wrote on here, but this summer I got some encouragement to start writing again. Someone I did not know, told me an encouraging story about how someone he knows really enjoyed reading my little writings, and even he too was able to use them as a tool and get something out of them. So here I am, feeling called to write on here again. I want to start out though by making sure that the focus is on God, only through Him do I have the freedom to be bold enough to post in a forum for the whole world to see, confessing my belief and love for Him.

I don't really know what I want to write about, but I know that after a lot of prayer and consideration, I do know that I feel like I feel called to write again. So what I plan to do, is just to talk about what is on my heart and trust that God will use it to speak to you where you are at, wherever that may be. Right now, I am struggling to decipher where on this big blue Earth God is trying to lead me. I keep feeling good about where I am at and where I am with Him, and then I feel called to another ministry, place, job opportunity, set of friends, etc.

Recently I have all of a sudden been the subject of some interest from multiple churches to become a youth pastor, some part time, others full time. I am definitely qualified in some aspects, but in other ways, I am a long way off. Nevertheless, it's super exciting and encouraging seeing as how I love working with youth in ministry (3 years as a summer camp counselor should speak to that) and I hope to one day go into full-time Christian ministry. Some days I feel as though God is really leading me to these opportunities and is blessing them and will help me to land myself in one of these churches and find a home working with the youth there. Other days I wake up and feel the weight of the world and of my inadequacies and it makes me really focus on how I need to improve to be "qualified" for the positions.

Another situation is with my schooling. I am about 80% done with my bachelors degree, but I have had to take a hiatus from finishing for one reason or another. I fully intend to finish, but it is yet to be seen when that opportunity will arise. I fully believe God's plan includes me finishing and one day even getting a degree from seminary as well, but at this point, I can't see when or where any of that will happen. I feel not only the desire to get back soon and finish this up, but also the pressure from the world around me.

All this is to say, how does God and His plan come into this all? Or rather, how can we allow God to help us and be in the situation with us? God, being relational with us, I believe wants us to come to Him with everything and is definitely willing to field the questions of who, what, when, where, why, how? Who am I supposed to be applying with? What field of ministry are you calling me to? Where do you want me to go? Why is this not working how it feels like you want it to? How am I going to do this?

For me, its: What are you trying to tell me in all of this? When am I going to be able to finish school? Why am I feeling a call to these ministries and being lead to them, only for them to be dead ends? How are you going to rescue me from being lost?

Is it bad to ask those questions? I mean, they kind of sound like doubt don't they? Well, if you ask me, asking those questions and admitting that you need God to comfort you and answer those questions says a lot more about your faith, than pretending you are simple-minded enough to not question the world around you. When things don't seem right in life, don't we tend to ask someone "Hey, whats up with that?" Same deal with God, only difference is He actually does have all the answers. Crazy, I know.

So I guess, talking to myself here and maybe to you, don't be afraid to go to God with your questions/fears/doubts/concerns and ask Him to answer and guide you. He wants to comfort you, He wants to answer your questions and calm your fears. However, not everything can be answered immediately or at all. Just keep praying for guidance and peace for when no answer comes. One of my favorite songs has a line that says that God answers every prayer for "grace and faith." I think that is a huge line. We ask for a lot of things that we feel we need, that are spiritual things, but we don't always need. Grace and faith may not be the first things that pop into our heads, and they may seem broad, but that doesn't mean they aren't what we need. Ask God for grace from our doubts and our tendency to wander, and faith to keep from wandering anymore so that we can trust Him even when things don't seem on track.

I pray that each of you can find more trust in God and His plan for you, especially in times where it may be a little foggy and the path is hard to find. I pray for each of you that you have peace and understanding when it is hard to follow His path, because we realize that it is not at all the path we hoped it to be.