Trust

Well, it has been a really long time since I wrote on here, but this summer I got some encouragement to start writing again. Someone I did not know, told me an encouraging story about how someone he knows really enjoyed reading my little writings, and even he too was able to use them as a tool and get something out of them. So here I am, feeling called to write on here again. I want to start out though by making sure that the focus is on God, only through Him do I have the freedom to be bold enough to post in a forum for the whole world to see, confessing my belief and love for Him.

I don't really know what I want to write about, but I know that after a lot of prayer and consideration, I do know that I feel like I feel called to write again. So what I plan to do, is just to talk about what is on my heart and trust that God will use it to speak to you where you are at, wherever that may be. Right now, I am struggling to decipher where on this big blue Earth God is trying to lead me. I keep feeling good about where I am at and where I am with Him, and then I feel called to another ministry, place, job opportunity, set of friends, etc.

Recently I have all of a sudden been the subject of some interest from multiple churches to become a youth pastor, some part time, others full time. I am definitely qualified in some aspects, but in other ways, I am a long way off. Nevertheless, it's super exciting and encouraging seeing as how I love working with youth in ministry (3 years as a summer camp counselor should speak to that) and I hope to one day go into full-time Christian ministry. Some days I feel as though God is really leading me to these opportunities and is blessing them and will help me to land myself in one of these churches and find a home working with the youth there. Other days I wake up and feel the weight of the world and of my inadequacies and it makes me really focus on how I need to improve to be "qualified" for the positions.

Another situation is with my schooling. I am about 80% done with my bachelors degree, but I have had to take a hiatus from finishing for one reason or another. I fully intend to finish, but it is yet to be seen when that opportunity will arise. I fully believe God's plan includes me finishing and one day even getting a degree from seminary as well, but at this point, I can't see when or where any of that will happen. I feel not only the desire to get back soon and finish this up, but also the pressure from the world around me.

All this is to say, how does God and His plan come into this all? Or rather, how can we allow God to help us and be in the situation with us? God, being relational with us, I believe wants us to come to Him with everything and is definitely willing to field the questions of who, what, when, where, why, how? Who am I supposed to be applying with? What field of ministry are you calling me to? Where do you want me to go? Why is this not working how it feels like you want it to? How am I going to do this?

For me, its: What are you trying to tell me in all of this? When am I going to be able to finish school? Why am I feeling a call to these ministries and being lead to them, only for them to be dead ends? How are you going to rescue me from being lost?

Is it bad to ask those questions? I mean, they kind of sound like doubt don't they? Well, if you ask me, asking those questions and admitting that you need God to comfort you and answer those questions says a lot more about your faith, than pretending you are simple-minded enough to not question the world around you. When things don't seem right in life, don't we tend to ask someone "Hey, whats up with that?" Same deal with God, only difference is He actually does have all the answers. Crazy, I know.

So I guess, talking to myself here and maybe to you, don't be afraid to go to God with your questions/fears/doubts/concerns and ask Him to answer and guide you. He wants to comfort you, He wants to answer your questions and calm your fears. However, not everything can be answered immediately or at all. Just keep praying for guidance and peace for when no answer comes. One of my favorite songs has a line that says that God answers every prayer for "grace and faith." I think that is a huge line. We ask for a lot of things that we feel we need, that are spiritual things, but we don't always need. Grace and faith may not be the first things that pop into our heads, and they may seem broad, but that doesn't mean they aren't what we need. Ask God for grace from our doubts and our tendency to wander, and faith to keep from wandering anymore so that we can trust Him even when things don't seem on track.

I pray that each of you can find more trust in God and His plan for you, especially in times where it may be a little foggy and the path is hard to find. I pray for each of you that you have peace and understanding when it is hard to follow His path, because we realize that it is not at all the path we hoped it to be.